Does the title get the David Bowie song stuck in your head too? If not, have a listen
Just when I think I’ve started to figure out life, I’m thrown a curve ball. This past month and a half have been beyond hectic. So many times I’ve thought about making a new post, but I’ve either been exhausted, not felt up to it, or reeling from a new life change.
When I last posted, I was getting ready for the last two weeks of medical school before break. I was excited to be done with my first semester (eek! I’m an eighth of the way done!). Plus I was really looking forward to the two weeks I’d have off for the holidays. Not too long after my post, my husband (let’s call him Y.) got an unexpected call. He was in the middle of going through the med school application cycle and in addition to American schools we’d applied to some Caribbean schools. We already knew he’d been accepted at one of the Caribbean schools to matriculate in May 2012, and were waiting to hear back from all the other schools.
This call came from the school that he’d already been accepted to. They had some open spots for matriculation in January 2012 and wanted to know if he’d want to start a couple of months earlier. Y told the man other side that it was pretty unlikely, but that he’d get back to him by the end of the week after talking with me. The school’s spokesperson added that they’d love to see him there, plus that they’d throw in some round trip tickets given the short notice. Y. was given some contact info from people that had either gone to the school or taught there and then got off the phone. He explained the call to me, we talked for ~10 minutes about it and decided to stick with our original plans.
Now, the entire medical school application process is a demanding process. Add in a wife who’s just gotten through it all and who's IN med school, our 1 year old baby girl, the fact that my husband was completing a post bacc program at a school with a two hour commute each way and you’ve got a little taste of our lives. Chaos. We were completely burnt out over all of it and really just ready to move on to the next chapter.
The next day while I was in class, Y called me while I was in class. He’d been thinking about it all and was starting to warm up to the idea but wanted to get my opinion. I told him that I supported him in whatever decision he’d make and that we’d figure out a way through it if he went. As soon as we got off the phone, I burst into tears (in my defense, I was under exam stress). What was I going to do? How would I survive med school, with our baby, without him? How was I going to survive almost 4 years not living with him? In our five years together, we’ve never been apart for more than a week or two and even that was pretty rare. A couple of friends saw me got me some tissues, a chocolate cupcake and consoled me (thank you ladies). After a few minutes, I got myself together and finished the day with some semblance of normality.
That night, we had dinner and got my daughter into bed without much issue. After she was in bed we sat down and talked it through. We made pros and cons charts, figured out the logistics (financially and otherwise) and made a tentative decision. He was going to go. We decided to sit on the decision for a couple of more days. After it all we still felt the same way and decided to let our families know.
That began the whirl-wind that was our holiday break. We canceled the plans to visit my parents and started working on getting everything together. There was paperwork to do, all the things on our to-do list that we’d been putting off for when we had more time (ha!), and everything that comes with the holidays. I think staying busy kept me from really thinking about it and just melting down. Honestly it was one of the best holidays we’ve ever had. We managed to see all the friends we’d been missing, got a lot done around the house and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was amazing. We had some friends over for New Year’s Eve and went downtown for one last hurrah. Y’s flight was the next morning and our NYE was a perfect end to 2011. That first day wasn’t too bad, and the day after that my brothers all came down to visit. It wasn’t until after they finally left that the reality hit. I barely had enough time to think about it, I started my second semester the day after they left. There wasn’t any turning back now. We started our new chapter and it wasn’t anything like we’d imagined it would be.
So far I’ve been going with the flow. I decided I’d ride these first couple of weeks out, up until my first exam, and see how things work out. School and my daughter have kept me plenty busy and I’ve been able to see/talk to Y a lot more than I thought I would. Thank goodness for Skype and face time. My first exam is in less than a week and I’m pretty sure I’ll pass. Y’s first exam is the week after next and I’m pretty sure he’ll pass too. I’m so proud of him. He’s working so hard and I know he’ll do great. He had his white coat ceremony 2 days ago and I was able to watch it streaming online. Again, thank goodness for technology. I miss him something awful, and have days that I feel like I won’t make it. But by the next day, things always seem better. We’re so lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing support group of family and friends. We’re taking it one day at a time for now. Slow and steady wins the race right? I sure hope so.
S.
